Thursday, October 21, 2004
>
whatever
i dont know what im doing.
why i had to wake up this morning thinking of you.
(i had to)
i had to hug my pillow tight and cry over you.
felt my heart sinking.
it seems like you have already died.
the space that was once occupied by you
is fucking filled up with worthless activities.
tried so hard to keep my mind off you.
its been three weeks since we talked.
you went to KL without even telling me.
please! if ur trying to write me off..tell me.
i dont deserve this silent treatment. fucking crap.
you made me fall in love with you
but you chose to walk away when i fall.
is this what happens when you are in a relationship?
you are looking at a natural disaster coming your way.
im so far away from free
because im enslaved to the whims
of what love in this world has to offer.
life is such a big sham.
owells, and if depression is anger turned inwards,
i have to constantly remind myself that
these emotional experiences,
petty annoyance in the instance
are reasonable bullshit,
that they dont have to fall into a depressive episode.
cause im already at the edge..
ive lost my grip
sentimentalism is working off on yourself
of feelings that you havent really got
♥
5:06 pm
i scribble (:
